Question #2

This question is one of two that came to me a couple of weeks ago via email...I have no idea who the email is from, but this particular question ties in pretty well with the question from Holly that I answered yesterday. 

Although the circumstances around each lost baby are unique, and no two families will ever share the same experience, I was wondering what general advise or words of wisdom you might have for those whose losses are more recent.  

As I said above, for me, this question ties in really well with Holly's question about what the biggest change has been for each of us since Gracie's death.  For those who did not read that post, I will boil it all down and tell you that our ability to communicate with each other has been the biggest change for both of us...at least from my standpoint.

Based on that, the biggest recommendation that I could give to someone starting out on this journey is to start communicating with your partner about how you are feeling very early on.  You don't have to reveal every deep, dark, secret thought, but make sure that you verbalize to each other that you understand, although it is the same loss, the roads that each of you take in the coming months will be so much different.  Even if you are not great communicators now, finding a way to communicate with each other what you are really feeling (and when you are really feeling it), will make things so much easier in the long run. 

Communication becomes a very difficult task under these circumstances, but it is so important, and will help to prevent additional difficulty down the road.