I thought that I had successfully gotten through the acute grief phase. Oh, how wrong I was. Yesterday was, by far, the worst day that I have had outside of week following Gracie’s death. While traveling to my first school stop of the day, I fell apart in the car – with no obvious trigger. I never made it to the school, but instead sat in the Wegman’s parking lot and cried for an hour. I pulled myself together and saw one high school student, and then threw in the towel for the day. Every word that I uttered made me cry, as did the unspoken words. The rest of the day just wasn’t going to happen.
I returned to the solace of the recliner, and at some point started putting together a slide show of Gracie’s pictures. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with it, or why I had made it. Eventually, I decided to put some October 15th information with it and make it into a full-fledged You Tube video. It was absolute torture, but it helped tremendously at the same time. I can’t explain it any more than that. Today was a better day.