I thought that I had successfully gotten through the acute grief phase. Oh, how wrong I was. Yesterday was, by far, the worst day that I have had outside of week following Gracie’s death. While traveling to my first school stop of the day, I fell apart in the car – with no obvious trigger. I never made it to the school, but instead sat in the Wegman’s parking lot and cried for an hour. I pulled myself together and saw one high school student, and then threw in the towel for the day. Every word that I uttered made me cry, as did the unspoken words. The rest of the day just wasn’t going to happen.
I returned to the solace of the recliner, and at some point started putting together a slide show of Gracie’s pictures. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with it, or why I had made it. Eventually, I decided to put some October 15th information with it and make it into a full-fledged You Tube video. It was absolute torture, but it helped tremendously at the same time. I can’t explain it any more than that. Today was a better day.
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3 comments:
I noticed you visited upstate NY in one of your posts, and now you mentioned Wegmans... where are you located? I'm in Buffalo, NY....
Thinking of you today, tomorrow (October 15th) and always sweetheart, I'm so sorry for your loss.
We are near Williamsport, PA. Spend some time each year in the Oak Orchard area, which is along the Lake Ontario coast about 45 minutes west of Rochester...probably about an hour northeast of Buffalo.
Touching and heartbreaking, Susan. I'm so sorry.
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