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Monday, June 20, 2011

I'm okay.  I really am.  I'm not sitting here in tears.  I'm not sitting here trembling.  But I am sitting here in awe...to the point that I needed to write a short blip here. 

Today has been a good day.  It's one of those days that, while Gracie (and baby loss) plays at low volume in the back of my mind, she is not a forerunning or all-consuming thought.  I just came home for lunch, sat down and turned the t.v. on and found a rerun of Grey's Ana.tomy.  I haven't watched Grey's in a couple months, so how is it that, of all episodes, I turned the t.v. on just in time to see them finding no heartbeat on an ultrasound screen???  How completely random is this???   I've seem this episode, and I'll be fine, but shit.  It's all suddenly in the front of my brain, and I know from experience that it will stay there until I go to bed tonight.  Sometimes I wonder about  the timing and randomness of these happenings... 

5 comments:

Becky said...

I know what you mean about the randomness of things happening. I never watch this show called the Secret Life but one day I turn the tv on and this show is on and it is an episode where a girl is pregnant and she ends up having a stillborn baby. What are the chances.

Heather said...

Ugh...I'm so sorry that happened to you!! It does seem very random!

lost--for--words said...

There was a movie on tv yesterday afternoon called Extraordinary Measures (basically it's about two children who are dying of a disease and they need a drug developed to save their lives.....) Anyway, I didn't keep watching after I discovered what it was about.... And the timing really couldn't have been any worse. I totally understand how these things can really knock your socks off when you're least expecting it.... ((hugs))

Big Love, Big Acceptance - or so I say said...

I think almost every time (if not every time) there's some kind of baby loss on a TV show/in a movie, etc., I at least tear up, if not cry. And I wonder if the writers of the show know how heart-breaking this kind of experience is in real-life? And of course I remember Acacia, and why these things make me cry now.

Radiant Readhead said...

I remember seeing this episode when i was about 3 months pregnant with Rosalynn....somthing about the episode stuck with me. The "feel stupid about even being checked" the mom and dad had when they initially walked in, the hopeful looks when they brought the u/s screen up, the devestated reaction when they didnt find a HB and the The look in the mothers face when they told her she would have to deliver. I was devestated for the family, but almost felt a bond with them....but didnt know at the time why....6 months later I was in their shoes.....