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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

ONCE IN A BLUE MOON

So that saying 'once in a blue moon'...there must be some truth.  I am sure that it was just coincidence, but the blue moon appears to have been the luck that we needed to make Gracie a big sister.  (The fact that I was ovulating had nothing to do with it!)  :-)   I am about 9 weeks and we had our first appointment today.  Our EDD is somewhere between 9/23/10 and 9/26/10.  I intentionally held off on announcing here until we had the first ultrasound - just to be sure.  


All of this comes as such a mixed emotional bag for me.  I am excited, but very nervous, to be trying again.   I am happy that we have been able to start this process again before we reached the point of 'having to try' to get pregnant; that alone removes so much stress from the situation.  But I am not sure how I feel about starting a new chapter.  I know that I cannot live in the grief chapter forever, but there is a little voice inside me that tells me that I need to spend more time there.   I know that we will forever miss, love, honor, cherish and remember Gracie, but there are definitely some feelings of guilt.  


I also have feelings of guilt as a member of the baby loss mama club.  There are so many loss mamas out there who are just not ready to think about their own rainbow baby, let along someone else's rainbow baby.  There are so many other girls out there who are ready and have been trying unsuccessfully.  All of this considered, I have decided to start a new blog for rainbow baby.  I will continue to post entries here related to Gracie, but there will not be much posted here about the new baby, as I want those who are not ready for rainbows to still be able to come here and read without having salt dumped onto their wounds.  The new blog can be found here - there is also a button over on the right.

13 comments:

Megan said...

Congrats!!!!! I am so excited for you!!! My word verification down there is rianboo!!! (looks like rainbow to me!) HAHA*! How weird is that??
*hugs

Melissa said...

Congrats, so exciting!

Maggie said...

Congratulations!! For some reason, rainbow babies really excite me. My heart doesn't break when I hear rainbow baby news. I'm sure that's true for a few of us. I'm so excited for you. :)

margaret said...

I'm thrilled for you Susan!!! I definitely feel happiness for a babylost mama who gets her rainbow. My biggest fear is that I will be left behind by the women I've come to rely on so much in my life for love and support. I can't have any more babies, not naturally anyway even though I wish I could. Nevertheless, I feel joy for you and will be praying for a healthy, successful pregnancy with a live baby at the end of it all. Sending you hugs

Jayme said...

Congratulations! I also ended up starting a new blog when I got pregnant again.

Jill said...

Congratulations!! I am SO excited for you!! : )

Malory said...

Susan, I am so very happy for you guys! Congrats!

JenJen said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am so happy for you!!!!

Betty said...

awww congrats!!! =]

Jessica said...

Congratulations!! I completely understand starting a new blog. I'll head over there. :)

jamie said...

Congrats! I'm going to check out your new blog! I wish I was able to start a new one and keep posts separate - but my mind just doesn't work that way - they intersect way too much and I am not good at separating.

I am so very happy for you!

Bree said...

Hi Susan-
Congratulations!! For some reason, I haven't seen your updates on my google reader. I'll have to check into that. :)

Holly said...

This is wonderful news and I'm happy for you!!